Helicopter Parenting And How To Overcome It With Ayurveda!
Abstract
There are different kinds of parents. Some of them are over protective about their children and they are likely to want to know everything about them like what their children are doing and where they are wandering and other things. The word ‘helicopter parent’ came into use in the late 1980s. Dr. Haim Gautam used the line ‘mother hovering like a helicopter’ in his book ‘Between Parent & Teenager. In the following text we shall see some detail about helicopter parenting and its pros and cons and what can be done to interfere minimally in the life of the children. Let’s discuss!!
Introduction
Sometimes parents indulge in their children’s lives excessively. The children feel smothered by this habit of overindulgence in their life by their parents. Helicopter parent is also called cosseting parent. Helicopter parents pay unusually high attention in their child’s activity and school work in order to protect them from any kind of disappointment and help them for their child’s success. But this is regarded as a vigil and lens by the child as his all activities are being noticed. This makes the child feel awkward and irritated. And his aspirations are killed as sometimes parents want or force the things regarding career which they deem fit better according to them for their child.
Pros/Advantages
Helicopter parenting is not bad at all if we consider some aspects that are obviously necessary to know about their children. What is bad if the parents want to know about the location of the kid as it is an important safety ?? Usually the word helicopter parenting is used in a derogatory manner. But not always helicopter parenting is wrong. As in the case of a kid struggling in school for dropping grades or falling for a bully or suffering from some mental breakdown issues. In these types of cases, helicopter parenting definitely is needed to overcome these issues. Furthermore, sometimes it also helps in establishing a healthy bond between the parents and their children.
Cons/Disadvantages/Drawbacks
Autonomy is what everyone wants. Therefore, interfering too much in the life of children is injurious. Over Interference of the parents in the lives of the children make the child feel apathetic and suffocated. Helping parents at all the times malke kids dumb by helping them alwys and prevents their development of problem solving skills and capacity. Over time, kids get dependent on their parents for even short and easy stuff and things. Hence, extensive helping make the kids and children dependent. Parents should help the kids to learn how to do things on their own. The overindulgence and helping the children with minimal problems hinders their development as well the learning to advocate for themselves. Shielding the kids from some natural consequences makes kids always feel positive but that’s far from reality as everyone faces failure and heart breaks. So suffering from some of life’s troubles makes a kid strong and learns to live with success and failures together.
Different Types Of Parents
1. Lawnmower Parent
This is a type of parenting in which parents act as a lawnmower that mows down every obstacle that they feel is a restriction in the way of their child’s success and happiness.
2. Free range parent
These parents are somewhat permissive. They let their children enjoy freedom to commit mistakes, try new things, and explore. They consider kids to learn things and other life issues through trials and experiences and errors. They consider natural consequences are needed for a healthy life and that is real.
3. Tiger Parent
These parents give their child a regimented lifestyle and strict rules. They prioritise hard work over fun. As they are highly motivated and also want their children to succeed at every cost.
How Parents can Stop themselves from being Helicopter Parents??
Parents need to know what are the conditions that necessarily need their indulgence regarding their children’s life or activity. Parents should give room to their child for their growth and let them do what they want. Parents should help the child in a manner that does not cause any hindrance in the mental growth of their child. Allowing children to make mistakes, experience failures and heartache and natural consequences are some common and important aspects of learning and growing. Giving freedom to the children is necessary in steps, though time to time coaching is needed to stop them from going far away from the values and morals. Avoid keeping an eye on everything children are doing.
What are the herbs available that can help in stopping the parents from helicopter parenting?
- Brahmi (Bacopa monnieri) is a medhya herb that means it improves and promotes calmness and memory. It belongs to the Scrophulariaceae family. Brahmi is known to boost the creative activity of the brain. It possesses anticonvulsant, antianxiety, antidepressant, antioxidant and other health properties. As it calms the brain and enhances its functioning which makes it a useful herb in helicopter parenting by stopping over indulgence in the life of their child.
- Arjuna (Terminalia arjuna) also calms the mind. By stimulating emotions the herb helps in reducing hover over the children’s activity.
- Ashwagandha (Withania somnifera) is a great nervine tonic which provides strength to the nervous system. It helps in relaxation of mind. With its properties of managing stress it benefits the parents who are looking to get rid of the problem of helicopter parenting. Therefore, Ashwagandha is beneficial in reducing the habit of helicopter parenting.
There are some following yoga asanas that can help in the parents who does helicopter parenting :
- Shavasana
- Surya namaskara asana
- Hasta Pada angustha asana
- Vrikshasana
- Sukhasana
- Ushtrasan
Conclusion
As we discussed helicopter parenting we have come to know about this is one of the types of parenting. In helicopter parenting there are things that a child gets exhausted with such over interference of their parents in almost every aspect. This makes them unhappy and disabled from other life consequences. Sometimes kids get so stubborn and angry when they don’t get the desired thing for once as parents fulfil every little demand of the kids. Therefore, helicopter parenting is good in some aspects and it also has some ill effects on the maturity level and overall problem solving capacity. We can say that there are more negative effects or drawbacks than its positive effects. Hence, looking at kids life is necessary but overindulged in that would be harmful for the kids future. As we see some herb that can be of some help in order to calm the mind and not to indulge excessively in the life of the kids but timely coaching is mandatory. Moreover counselling of parents and doing pranayama and yoga asanas are of help in stopping “helicopter parenting“.
